Fourth Trimester Dad Hacks from The Birth Guy
These three tips for breastfeeding parents will help families who are having hospital births, that is over 98% of the population. For those having home births and birth center births, this is great information too!
What most people don't know is that in a hospital birth, you don't get much sleep. If you have an epidural or caesarean section, that can add a day or two onto your stay. You see, when you're in the hospital, people constantly knock on your door, go in and out, not to mention all the beeping machines just to name a couple of your sleep killers. For those of you in a home birth or birth center birth, you'll get a little more sleep, but you will also love these tips. If you're not breastfeeding, these tips still work for you, too!
TIP #1: Sleep When the Baby Sleeps!
Many times when couples get home they immediately start having guests. This is definitely not the time to have a lot of people around. Mom and dad need to get into a routine and if mom is breastfeeding, she needs to feel comfortable having people around her. When you have guests and the baby goes to sleep, mom and dad go into entertainment mode and it's time for adult conversations with your guests. This is not a good thing. Sleep deprivation makes it much more difficult for new parents to acclimate and happily bond with their baby. My suggestion is that when baby goes to sleep, both partner and mom sleep as well. It may only be 10 minutes or it could be 4 hours, but you've got to take it when you can. This makes for a happy family.
Tip #2: When the Baby Feeds, Feed Mom a Snack!
As a partner, this really gives you some street CRED. Your partner is working very hard getting used to feeding your baby if she is breastfeeding. Simple snacks can be something like cheese and crackers or bites of a protein bar and maybe even a smoothie! Many times moms that are breastfeeding are tired and have a hard time taking care of themselves. This is where you become that key partner and she's going to tell Facebook how much you rock! By the way, you can even have a little snack with her. Make it fun and social when you bring offerings to your partner.
Tip #3 When Baby Gets Clean, So Does Mom!
Partners are such an integral part of breastfeeding. Beyond just helping mom with latch corrections and making her feel loved and safe, you can also change the baby's diaper. After you have given mom a snack and she is feeding the baby, you can either set up a shower or nice bath for her so when you change the baby, mom can get clean as well. This is an amazing way to show mom that you care for her and your support can only strengthen your relationship.
Having Worked with over 21,000 expectant families, Brian created and teaches the popular Rocking Dads and Facilitating Fearless Birth classes. www.thebirthguy.com
Also in Our Blog
What’s the Difference Between a Swaddle and a Sleepsack
Five Questions about Early Morning Wakeups for Baby
The team at NAPS helps you tackle the issue of early wakeups. *BONUS* NAPS is hosting a webinar on February 24th. Register here and use the extra-special code MAGICMERLIN and you can join the webinar FREE of charge!
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The sound of cheery calls of “MAAAAMAAAAA” from the next room may be lovely at 7am. At 4am, or 5 am, not so much. Your baby may be up and ready to start the day, but you probably aren’t.
Answering the questions below may help you get there.
- Is your nap schedule mucking up your baby’s overnight sleep?
This might seem like an obvious question, but your baby’s sleep needs will change fast in the first few years of their lives. A quick look at the average nap number and duration might give you an idea:
- For babies from 3-6 months old, it’s normal to take 3-4 hour-long naps per day.
- For babies 6-15 months old, expect 2 naps with 3-3.5 hours of total sleep.
- For one and two-year-olds, you should expect a single 2-hour nap.
Part of the reason you might be seeing earlier wakeups is that your baby has graduated from one nap cycle to the next.
- Does your baby have enough time between their last nap and their bedtime?
We call this an “awake window,” and it can make a big difference. It might seem strange that your baby went to bed fine the night before, and you’re seeing a response to nap scheduling in the pre-dawn hours, but if your kiddo’s sleep is disrupted at night, it will impact the morning.
- 3-6 months, at least 1.5-2 hours between final nap wakeup and bedtime.
- 6-12 months, at least 2.5-3.5 hours between final nap wakeup and bed.
- 12-18+ months, 3.5-4.5 hours between final nap wakeup and bed.
- Is the room staying dark after the sun comes up?
Black 0ut curtains can make a big difference here. Remember that our brains signal wakeup when the light changes. So if dawn is at 430am, and even a little bit of light comes into your baby’s room, their little brains will PING with wake up juice.
- Is your baby going to sleep too early or too late?
It might seem counter-intuitive, but a late bedtime can actually backfire on you. Overtired kids don’t sleep as well. If you made their bedtime later and it didn’t fix the problem, try an earlier bedtime and see if that helps. You might be surprised.
- How do you make it better?
Try to make one change at a time; just one. Stick with that change for 3-5 days to see if it impacts things. (One night is usually not enough to see substantial change.) Be as consistent as you can with the change you made. For instance, if you decide to increase the space between bedtime and final nap wakeup, make sure to stick to the wakeup time you planned.
If your baby is waking up and chirping happily to themselves, feel free to leave them there for a little while. Let them get used to being alone in the crib. If you can, try to delay the start of the day by 5-10 minutes each day. This can make a big impact.
Everything else aside, remember that this is a short time in your kid’s life; as they get older, their sleep will become more regular, and so will yours. Don’t let yourself get too discouraged. Things are hard now, and you’re doing a great job.
