Tips for Dads Taking Over the Night Shift
Every family manages their baby’s nighttime wakeups differently. Many parents are on a schedule for who gets up with the baby when. Some play it by ear according to who wakes first. In other situations, one partner may take on responding to all night wakeups.
Many dads find themselves taking on the night shift either short term or permanently. There are a lot of reasons this changes throughout your baby’s life, including a parent’s work schedule changing, illness, or a transition such as weaning. Whatever the reason, it’s important to help your baby sleep well consistently no matter who is getting up with them.
If you’re making a change to take over the night shift, here are some tips that can help.
Be Prepared
Being woken up by a cry can be a little disorienting. If you’re new to night shift duties, thinking through the steps of feeding, changing, and re-swaddling can be hard when those aren’t yet routine for you. If your baby is in a swaddle transition, you can help them keep the benefits of steady sleep with a Magic Sleepsuit.
Make sure before you go to bed that you have everything in place so you don’t end up searching when half-awake. Get a diaper out and set it ready to go on the changing table. Have a bottle prepared and in front view in the fridge so you can grab it and warm it quickly.
Stick to the Routine
Consistency is key to helping your baby settle down sooner after a nighttime wake-up. Make sure to coordinate with your partner to both have the same nighttime routine. That way, no matter which of you is responding to the cries, your baby knows what to expect.
This is especially important if you’re taking over night duty after your partner has managed it for a while. Keeping the same routine can help your baby adjust sooner and calm down more quickly. If you’re making changes to your routine, talk with your partner about goals to help your baby sleep better and decide on plans together.
Do the Bedtime Put Down
Taking on the bedtime routine when possible can be a great help to adjust your baby and yourself to your nighttime role. It can be helpful for you to walk through the same steps of a night time wake up while it’s still light. And it can help you build the muscle memory for where things are so you can access them easily when you’re sleepy.
If you’re new to the bedtime routine, it’s a good opportunity to learn what riles your baby up rather than helping them calm down. As your baby associates you with getting to sleep instead of only daytime play, it can help them to know it’s time to calm when you are getting them at night.
Take Advantage of Bonding Time
One of the biggest benefits of night time duties is the added bonding time with your little one. It’s a unique opportunity for quiet one-on-one that is hard to get at other times of day. Holding your little one close while they watch you during feedings is a sweet time for a parent.
Resist the temptation to check emails during late-night feedings. Take advantage of that time to be present in responding to their focus with your own smiles, coos, or songs, and see how their demeanor changes as they associate you with comfort and security.
Get on a Good Schedule with Your Partner
If you and your partner are getting on a new schedule or plan for who gets up with the baby, make sure to communicate clearly. Talking about nighttime changes is a lot easier when you’re both awake, so make sure to discuss in the daytime so you both know what to expect at night. This is especially true if you’re making a change to how you respond to nighttime wakeups.
If you’re encouraging your baby to sleep through the night, you might decide to wait a certain amount of time before responding to wakeups. If you’re working on weaning from nighttime feedings, you may choose to change how to respond to your baby. If you and your partner are on board with the same schedule and plan for your baby’s sleep, it makes the night wakeups a lot smoother.
Also in Our Blog
What’s the Difference Between a Swaddle and a Sleepsack
Five Questions about Early Morning Wakeups for Baby
The team at NAPS helps you tackle the issue of early wakeups. *BONUS* NAPS is hosting a webinar on February 24th. Register here and use the extra-special code MAGICMERLIN and you can join the webinar FREE of charge!
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The sound of cheery calls of “MAAAAMAAAAA” from the next room may be lovely at 7am. At 4am, or 5 am, not so much. Your baby may be up and ready to start the day, but you probably aren’t.
Answering the questions below may help you get there.
- Is your nap schedule mucking up your baby’s overnight sleep?
This might seem like an obvious question, but your baby’s sleep needs will change fast in the first few years of their lives. A quick look at the average nap number and duration might give you an idea:
- For babies from 3-6 months old, it’s normal to take 3-4 hour-long naps per day.
- For babies 6-15 months old, expect 2 naps with 3-3.5 hours of total sleep.
- For one and two-year-olds, you should expect a single 2-hour nap.
Part of the reason you might be seeing earlier wakeups is that your baby has graduated from one nap cycle to the next.
- Does your baby have enough time between their last nap and their bedtime?
We call this an “awake window,” and it can make a big difference. It might seem strange that your baby went to bed fine the night before, and you’re seeing a response to nap scheduling in the pre-dawn hours, but if your kiddo’s sleep is disrupted at night, it will impact the morning.
- 3-6 months, at least 1.5-2 hours between final nap wakeup and bedtime.
- 6-12 months, at least 2.5-3.5 hours between final nap wakeup and bed.
- 12-18+ months, 3.5-4.5 hours between final nap wakeup and bed.
- Is the room staying dark after the sun comes up?
Black 0ut curtains can make a big difference here. Remember that our brains signal wakeup when the light changes. So if dawn is at 430am, and even a little bit of light comes into your baby’s room, their little brains will PING with wake up juice.
- Is your baby going to sleep too early or too late?
It might seem counter-intuitive, but a late bedtime can actually backfire on you. Overtired kids don’t sleep as well. If you made their bedtime later and it didn’t fix the problem, try an earlier bedtime and see if that helps. You might be surprised.
- How do you make it better?
Try to make one change at a time; just one. Stick with that change for 3-5 days to see if it impacts things. (One night is usually not enough to see substantial change.) Be as consistent as you can with the change you made. For instance, if you decide to increase the space between bedtime and final nap wakeup, make sure to stick to the wakeup time you planned.
If your baby is waking up and chirping happily to themselves, feel free to leave them there for a little while. Let them get used to being alone in the crib. If you can, try to delay the start of the day by 5-10 minutes each day. This can make a big impact.
Everything else aside, remember that this is a short time in your kid’s life; as they get older, their sleep will become more regular, and so will yours. Don’t let yourself get too discouraged. Things are hard now, and you’re doing a great job.
